Adventure Time- Meaningful Words

Adventure Time- Meaningful Words

Over time, words and phrases can have their meanings changed; and the ones who use them may never realize it. But we're here for the reunification of a lesbian vampire and her pink, candy lover, not some deeper meaning!



“Yo, Finn-”

“AAAAAA-”

“Hush, child!” I shush, placing an unusually long, grey finger over his shrieking lips, quelling his outburst. “Where’s Jake?”

“Marceline!” he exclaims with much surprise.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” I warn with a smirk. “Okay, seriously, where’s Jake?” I ask, looking around the main room of my former tree house. Torn picture of naked woman, check. Freezer, check. Stove, check. BMO staring out the window for hours on end, check. “Why isn’t he here?” I wonder.

“Glob, Marceline!” Finn exclaims. Again. Still with a lot of surprise. “Don’t scare your brosters like that, okay?” Wiping his brow, he puts down the sword and moves to stand up from the couch. “Jake’s not here, okay? He’s over at PB’s crib.”

“Whaaat.” No way. What a weird coincidence!

“Yeah, he’s talking to her about some kind of food thing or whatever,” Finn informs me without really informing me.

“Say that again?” I request as I float behind him.

Finn moves to the freezer. “He woke up and immediately came here,” he begins. Opening up the lid, he shows me the emptiness. “We used to have a whole schmacka’s load of choc-choc black-o bars in this here bin.”

“You were hoarding chocolate bars?” I ask.

“Jake said it was a good investment,” Finn justifies without any real knowledge of post-Mushroom War economics. “So now he’s taken them all to PB’s palace to do Glob knows what.”

Whelp, this is gonna be aaawkward; but I guess I’ll just have to make do with what I have. And to be fair, after a thousand years I can safely say that this isn’t a hundredth as bad as some things were. “Okay, thanks for the four-one-one, Finn,” I thank as I move to the window. “Scoot, BMO,” I request as I plop her aside and open the window.

“Der are many ways my fragile existence can come to an unexpected and finalized end,” she states as I fly off towards the Candy Kingdom!

“When you get back, we need to go over personal space issues!” Finn calls out to me as I rush off. Yeah, I’ll get on that. I’ll put it down on my calendar. I’ll give it its own little box. And I’ll make good on it like a new year’s resolution. Have they rediscovered those yet? I don’t think they have.

And here we are! The bright and sugar coated Candy Kingdom! With its tall walls, giant gumball machines that have trouble with math problems, and an entirely incompetent population save for their princess, this is the most formidable superpower that the remaining world has ever seen.

Eh, I could take it with a little coordination. But then I’d have to actually put up with other vampires. Ugh, and that would suuuck.

...I suppose that should be a compliment for me, actually.

Nothing like a little invisibility to just float on by every banana guard in the castle and come right on up to Bubble Butt’s personal quarters. And it looks like a sweet gig is goin’ down, too.

“...-elling you, P-Biz, it’s a solid one!” Jake the Dog attempts to convince. “No way it could go wrong!”

Bubble Butt sighs, pacing back and forth. “Jake, I appreciate the offer to double-down; but I don’t think I can risk it. There are just too many variables. I wouldn’t make such a gamble if I didn’t think the payoff would be worth it,” she confesses to him, much to Jake’s dismay.

“Well…” he trails off, staring at the massive amount of chocolate bars piled up on her bed. Looks like three hundred, at least. “I guess, I just thought-”

“Jake,” she interrupts. “As much as you love chocolate bars, I can’t back you up with military support to force everyone to pay this new chocolate bar tax that you propose. I’m sorry,” she diplomatically apologizes. But I know that tone, she’s not sorry in the least, haha!

I watch as Jakes packs up his million-dollar-idea and embarks upon his return journey. As the door shuts, I promptly invite myself in. Looks like there’s going to be a change of plans. I’ll just have to improvise.

I wait for the perfect moment. Just as she’s sitting down. “WAZZUUUUP?!”

“GAAAAAGABLARGAGOO!” she shrieks, leaping out of her chair and flailing her flaily arms about in a humorous fashion. “Marceline?!” she flusteredly flabbergasts.

“That’s my name! Don’t-”

“-Don’t wear it out,” she sighs, placing her head in her hands. “What the stuff are you doing here?” she requests, leveling her tone.

“Oh!” Oh, um, gotta improvise! “I came here to bury the ashes of my mother?”

She does a double take. “I thought you didn’t have a mother?” she immediately debunks.

“...mother hamster, the mother to my pet hamster?” Flawless.

“Where did you get a hamster?” she gawks. “They’ve been extinct for decades! You couldn’t just GET a ham-”

“It’s a hamster from the Nightosphere! A vampire hamster! Instead of a wheel, it flies in a wind tunnel powered by the shrieks of those who have sinned?” I brilliantly concoct.

“Interesting…” she trails off. Grabbing one of her miniature experimental candy people, she places the squeaking lad under some kind of machine that beings to-

“AAAAAH GLOB, THE PAIIIIIN!” he shrieks.

...to laser inscribe what I can only assume are the lies I’ve told.

“Gotta keep that in mind,” she mutters as she finishes her operation and promptly dumps the lad in a jar of water, upon which he sinks to the bottom. “You did good, Number One-Four-Two Dash Fifteen,” she commends as she eyes the glowing red mass that remains as his body. “You did good.”

Um. Sooo. Is she done, or-?

“I’m glad you came, actually,” she confesses. Much to my surprise! It’s been… many years since she’s said those words.

Man, they say time heals all wounds. But it looks like love is still a salty tear in everyone’s flesh, even after the war that ended civilization.

“You wanted me to show up?” I ask. “Like, you want to be around me? You WANT to talk to me?” Man, this is weird. She hasn’t wanted to talk to me in years.

“Yeah, actually,” she acknowledges with a nod. “Would you like to sit down, Marceline?” she offers as she moves to her bed and motions with her hand for me to join her.

Oh, man, I’m getting some major flash-backage right now. Calms nights and quiet sunrises with clothing being optional on most of those occasions. “Okay, Bubblegum, what’s up?” I ask as I plop down next to her, only kind of expecting a lecture.  

“Well, not so much what is ‘up’,” she corrects in her usual “I have to be right about everything” fashion. “It’s more about what’s going on in my infinite mind. See, I’ve been thinking a lot about my mistakes.”

An admission of guilt? I gotta say, I had to do a lot more of those for her when we were together.

“And one of the most harmful mistakes I ever made was treating you like you had a problem,” she admits. Finally. “A lot of the things you did were just you being you, trying to impress me or show me how much you cared about me.”

Yeah. “You were under a lot of stress for most of when we were an item,” I state, revealing my understanding of her responsibilities. “I just figured you could use some stress relief. Well, outside the bedroom too.”

She smiles. Been a long time since she smiled at me like that. “I reacted poorly, Marceline. I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry for that and for how I kicked you out,” she explains. She’s being honest about it too.

“Well, if we’re going to be honest with each other,” I begin as I resist the urge to fidget. “I was trying to find Jake. I wanted to ask him about relationship advice.”

Laughing, she wonders, “You’ve been in dozens of relationships. Why go to Jake the Dog?”

“Because he’s married and has kids,” I explain with a huff. “You were my soulmate, and I wanted to know how he and Lady Rainicorn made it when you and I couldn’t.”

She looks hurt for a brief moment, but her logical processes take charge, and she asserts, “Jake and Lady Rainicorn don’t have the responsibilities that I have. Technically, you should have some of the same responsibilities, but I never thought you would just GIVE up your royal ties.”

“Yeah, well,” I chuckle. “I decided to ask him about what I should do,” I inform her.

“Do about what?” she asks. “We broke up a long time ago, Marceline. Did you want to pick up where we left off or try to improve it?”

“Kind of,” I acknowledge.

She pauses. Choosing her words carefully, she asks, “How could we do this? You’re that confident? Even without Jake’s help?”

“I could help you run the Candy Kingdom,” I declare. Not a lot of confidence, but with her help I could hone my “do what I tell you” skills.

Spewing spit all over my face, she unleashes quite the laugh. “Ah, ahaha, now that is funny!” she admits, believing it to be a joke.

“No, I’m serious! I worked with my dad for a hundred years running the Nightosphere!” I state, verbally presenting my resume. “If I helped you, we could develop an understanding that we didn’t have before, Bonnibel,” I explain. “And maybe there would be hope for us.”

She considers it. “I guess we both want what we had before…” A frown should never be on her face. It just doesn’t suit her. “How? Do you have a plan? What is it?”

Man, a lot of questions. “Well, there’s this thing that we can do,” I explain. “It’s a pre-war technique that would allow me to become integrated into your life for quite a while.”

“Really?” she wonders, eyes slowly growing with hope. Yes! Success! Maybe we can rebuild the best part of my life, and probably a pretty good part of her’s too. “Marceline, I- I,” she stutters. Taking my hands into her own, she pleads, “Yes! Let’s do it! How? How can we make this happen?”

I move from the bed to the floor, getting down on my right knee and holding her hands in mine. “Princess Bubblegum…”

She holds still with baited breath, barely containing her anticipation.

“...Will you divorce me?”

“YES!” she exclaims, leaping into my arms. “Yes, Marceline! Yes, I’ll divorce you!”

Oh, happy happy days! “Awesome!”

“Yes, of course I will!” she happily announces. “But what’s a divorce?” she asks.

“That’s a pre-war process where two people who used to love each other divide their possessions,” I explain. “See, you and I used to love each other. And if we divorce, you’ll give me half of your Candy Kingdom; so then we’ll work together as co-rules.”

“That’s a brilliant idea!” Bubblegum realizes. “Yes, yes! I can show you so much! We’ll learn about each other all over again! Marceline, this is perfect!” she declares as she brings me into a sticky hug.

“This is the happiest day in my life!” I proudly proclaim as I twirl her around in the air. “I get to divorce the most beautiful woman in all of OOO!”

What a wonderful day! I’m so happy I could just randomly break out into song! It’s a good thing that some bits of the Old World survived. Man, I bet there were so many people getting divorced; it must have been a very happy world.

Many trials lay ahead of us, but we’re going to face them together with newfound strength. After all these years, we might be able to write a new chapter for our lives.

“Cliche ending line!”

“Wait, what?”

“Nothing!”

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Dedicated to the beautiful Gillian over on her tumblr  parttimedoodles.tumblr.com/

This talented artist has gifted me with many pieces of fan art for my romantic comedy RWBY series "Pollination: The Bumblebee and White Rose", and so I had to show my gratitude to her by writing her favorite pairing! I hope she enjoys it!

Thank you so much, Gillian. Have a very successful career.